Self-awareness: [n] the conscious knowledge of one’s character and feelings.

Learning to how to be self confident begins with growing in self-awareness. Being self-aware will help if you focus on building a robust and steady sense of self-confidence. We can do this most effectively by generating positive self-talk, as discussed previously.  The next step is to create self-confidence through conquering the fears that hold us back.

On my journey with a cancer diagnosis, I learned to recognize the natural reaction to fear for what is was: the brain’s way of implementing protection.  My aversion to the situation was driven, first and foremost, by the natural response of my brain to the fear present in the case.  Sensing fear, the brain initiates a fight or flight response, affecting us both emotionally and physically in an attempt to ensure the immediate protection of our mind and body.

Overcoming fear re-trains our responses, liberating the ability to reason from a brain that wants to shut everything down; which is telling us the reasons why something should not and must not take place.  The knowledge of this protection mechanism and the process itself helped me a great deal in conquering my fears.  I finally understood that the brain would automatically move to shut things down, a natural response to the fear I was exuding, usually subconsciously.  I would feel fear, most often unknowingly, and the brain would react, sending my body and emotions into a crazy cycle of self-preservation tactics.

Three Steps to Conquering Fear

The greatest way to gain self-confidence is to conquer our fears and to learn how to respond appropriately to these situations.  Do you want to know how to be self confident? Yes, then follow these three easy steps:

1. Pay attention to triggers

Fear is triggered by various events and is often from a subconscious and unknown source. It keeps pushing through to the surface at inconvenient times, forcing us to face our demons. Be clear on what the triggers are in your life and work on finding out why these triggers are there in the first place.

2. Stop

As soon as you realize the brain is responding, immediately sit down and take six deep breaths. Breathe in slowly through your nose and then breathe out slowly through your mouth. As you breathe, focus on bringing the stress levels down and say to your brain, “It’s okay! I’ve got this.” Thank your brain for its protection response and then take charge of the situation with calm confidence.

3. Flip a switch

Turn your thoughts in a more positive direction. What can go right in this case? Can I learn from this? What will be good about it in the long-run? Do I want to do this or is there a better way? Yes.

To conquer fear is a lengthy process, but if you understand how the brain is wired, how the automatic protection response manifests in your body and mind, it is certainly possible. Gain more self-confidence by conquering the fear that holds you back and then moves forward. How to be self confident? Follow the three easy steps and you will succeed!